All right. It’s pretty clear that Hollywood is out of ideas. Sequels and prequels are everywhere. Do we really need a third The Hangover when the second one wasn’t all that popular? They’re making a SIXTH Fast and Furious. They’re remaking every movie that was ever semi-successful. And everything else is just re-workings of the same tired, formulaic crap they’ve been pushing on us for years.
So. Apparently they need help. Well, no worries. I’ve got some ideas. How about making movies about some of the lesser-known, yet fascinating women throughout history? Everyone’s heard of Joan of Arc and Amelia Earheart. But there are tons of women whose lives would make incredible stories, without even needing much Hollywood revamping.
Here are just a few:
This young woman, at the age of 16, talked her way into a journalist position at a local newspaper. After serving as a foreign correspondent in Mexico, she returned to the U.S. and decided to fake insanity to get herself admitted into an insane asylum, as a means of exposing the horrible conditions there. Her reporting led to a government investigation and overhaul of the agency in charge of the mental health system.
THEN, at 24, she came up with the idea to travel around the world (unchaperoned), turning the story “Around the World in Eighty Days” into reality for the first time. She made it around in under 80 days, setting a world record, and the newspaper stories following her travels were hugely popular.
Oh and throughout her lifetime, she invented some things and cared for orphans. So….yeah…pretty fascinating in my opinion.
Yeah, so you might know her as a classic Hollywood screen siren, but ALSO, she was a mathematician and inventor. She was born in Austria (her real name was Hedwig Kiesler), and married young to a rich, overbearing older man. He kept her locked up in his castle (is this a Disney movie?), and threw lavish parties, which were attended by the likes of Adolph Hitler and Mussolini. During these parties, she would sit there looking pretty and stupid, but she’d be listening in on the political conversations, and her interest in science and technology was piqued. She escaped from the castle by drugging her maid and dressing in her maid’s clothing, and fled to Paris.
While making films in Hollywood, she invented a new technology for a secret communication system, to be used to thwart the Nazis. This technology laid the groundwork for modern wireless communication like that used in Bluetooth devices and Wi-Fi internet connections. Who knew?
She was a circus horse rider, exotic dancer, courtesan, and spy for the Germans during WWI. Sex, war, intrigue. A perfect anti-heroine.
So there ya go. Three blockbusters right there. Now I know that everybody’s squeamish about making female-driven movies. But I’ve got two words for you: shut up. People will watch your movie if it’s good. END OF STORY. So get over your white male selves, and make good movies for a change.